FTC: Made In The USA Comments Concerning W.P. Williams--P894219

May 15, 1997

Joan Bernstein, Director
Bureau of Consumer Protection
Federal Trade Commission
6th and Pennsylvania Ave, Room 466
Washington, D.C. 20580

Re:FTC accepting comments on "Made in USA" label changes.

Ms. Bernstein,

In the interests of efficiency, and in response to the FTC's proposal to allow the "Made in USA” label to be attached to products "75 per cent manufactured" or "substantially transformed" in the USA, the best approach might be to include the proposal in an omnibus bill altering other definitions, as well. For example:

  • The Treasury Department can now define your paycheck as, “A banknote redeemable for at least 75 per cent of its face value."
  • The Agriculture Department's "USDA Inspected and Passed” label now will mean, "At least 75 percent of this hamburger you're eating is free of E coli bacteria."
  • The Surgeon General will now consider, “Any girl who has had no sexual relations on at least 75 percent of her dates may be considered still a virgin."
  • “USA” will now mean, "A government of the corporations, by the corporations and for the corporations."

These are just a few recommendations to get you started on your own list, or to add to the one seemingly already started by the FBI indicating that "Any agent who doesn't kill anyone on at least 75 percent of his assignments is eligible for promotion." I would urge against inclusion of the unrealistic suggestion that, “At least 75 percent of government bureaucrats must have at least 75 per cent of their wits about them 75 percent of the time.”

W.P. Williams, Consumer (and apparently in need of protection)

W.P. Williams

19689 7th Ave NE #103
Poulsbo WA, 98370

P.S. Has anyone thought of creating a "Made Globally" label and having it mean, "Something of significant value?"

cc:Washington State legislators:

  • Murray
  • Gorton
  • Dicks
  • White